Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Three's the charm (not even funny)

When I woke up this morning, preparing to go have my CT scan, I found a note from my husband on my laptop saying to call him as soon as I got up. That's never good news, people. I had heard his cell phone ring earlier, but never heard him talk on it, so I thought that had been a wrong number. It was not a wrong number. It was my dear brother, who'd just spoken to my mother, and he was calling to tell my husband that my youngest sister, the "bad" one for whom I have to find another name, was raped last night/this morning. Yes, you read that right -- RAPED.

Background -- little sister is an alcoholic from way back. Has been in and out of treatment. Likes to drink, but also seems to like to take anything that will get her high. Don't know about stuff like meth, though -- that hasn't cropped up yet, that I know of. But pot, liquor, pain killers, cocaine -- that stuff has all been in the picture. She has had many run ins with the law -- she has been in bar fights -- she has been "an exotic dancer" -- she has been taken to the hospital in handcuffs. None of this looks good, does it?

She also has an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive ex-husband, WITH WHOM SHE STILL LIVES. I had a run in with him in October, which precipitated my fall into the depths of post-traumatic stress and depression. She also has 3 children: my precious 8 year old niece who tries to take care of everyone, bless her heart; a nearly 2 year old daughter she had with the ex after they were divorced, followed by the nearly 1 year old son she had with him.

The story: After ex-hubby goes to sleep, she goes out with a girlfriend and that girl's boyfriend. She leaves ex-hubby a note saying she's gone out with them. This has happened before, we learned today. At 4am, sister returns home, screaming, crying, looking very disheveled, saying to the girl "You set me up! How could you do that to me???" She tells ex-hubby she was raped, held down by the girl's boyfriend and raped. Her clothes are torn and she looks as though she's been in a struggle. They call the police, who take her to the hospital to have the rape kit done. For some reason (can't imagine!!), the police don't seem to believe her, or this is what we're told. I spoke with a friend here who is a social worker and works closely with people in situations like this and was told that it may not be that they don't believe her, but that they don't have enough to go on. After all, there would be 3 of them against 1 of her, where stories are concerned.

My sister-in-law, who is about the toughest, most tenacious broad on the planet, got some info from sister and ex-hubby, and starts poking around on the internet. She finds a guy who matches the boyfriend's description. Where does she find it? On a sexual predator database. She's faxed this info to sister and ex-hubby. Ex-hubby has been calling the "friend" who was involved in all this, who they claim has changed her story several times. When ex-hubby stated that the police were going to get the surveillance tape of the place where this supposedly occurred, the girlfriend's story changed again.

As of this moment, my parents are on their way up to Illinois from Florida. They may or may not stop here overnight. They hope to be able to get my sister into an alcohol & drug treatment program, and apparently really have a come-to-Jesus-meeting with ex-hubby. He has been buying her alcohol, pot and pills, supposedly to keep her from going out drinking. But he doesn't seem to understand that MY SISTER CAN NEVER, EVER DRINK OR DRUG AGAIN. She can't handle it -- she's an addict and he enables her to remain one. Nevermind that that might be his way of controlling her and keeping her where she is (with him, dependent).

My brother somehow became the smartest guy on earth when I wasn't looking, too. We learned a while back that ex-hubby only gives her enough money to buy one meal's worth of groceries at a time, or one day's worth of baby formula. Brother extrapolated today that maybe the reason for this is that ex-hubby knows if he gives her any more, she'll go out and drink. I think he may be on to something.

So, here we go again. All attention is focused up Illinois way, and we're awaiting the outcome. I am praying that A) sister did not contract any STDs, including HIV, and B) that this is the bottom she's needed to hit to get her into rehab for the long term, and for real this time, and C) they find the bastards who did this and lock them up and throw away the key.

PS -- Thank God for Klonopin and Xanax.


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