Monday, February 06, 2006

A brief post

It's been a busy weekend, concluding with Superbowl Sunday, which was a lot of fun this year. The game was actually A GAME, instead of an unbalanced brawl. Though I hoped Seattle would win (first trip to the big one, Holmgren possibly being the first coach to win Superbowls with 2 different teams), I still had a lot of fun watching with hubby and snacking on utter crap. (Chips, dips, Hooters wings, etc.) To make up for the crap part in advance, I made HUGE chef salads for lunch, with tons of lettuces and baby spinach, broccoli sprouts, tomatoes, onions, celery, sunflower seeds, almonds, a little bit of bacon, chicken breast and Virginia baked ham. Light on the meats, actually, but the veggies were so good I don't think it mattered. Aren't I good at rationalizing? :D

Had a dream last night, very disturbing. I dreamed my late husband returned, and that I knew he had died years ago. I told him that I had his ashes that still needed to be scattered, I watched him die -- how could he be here? He didn't give an explanation. I was petrified, knowing I'm remarried and very happily so, and that I couldn't have a relationship with them both. Late hubby walked away, as though going on an errand, and I knew if he left again I'd never see him. So I followed him as best I could. Sometimes I could see him in the distance, and sometimes I couldn't. At one point, he 'morphed' into a woman with longish blonde hair, white shirt, and blue skirt, which is pretty much the polar opposite of him. I could never find him again. I returned to 'my home', which wasn't really mine -- it was the house of some neighbors from my childhood -- no clue what the connection to them was. At this home my mom and I think some other family members (kids) were in the back yard, and I was naked inside, trying to 'wake up'. I think this happens alot when I'm really trying to wake up from my night's sleep, but it carries over into my dreams. I was trying to keep my eyes open and not go back to sleep (in my dream), and to put on clothes in case someone came in. I was afraid late hubby would show up again, and I dreaded it. I don't think I ever did get dressed all the way -- though I think I was trying to put on this black and white gown I have by my bed in real life. I woke up feeling sad, disoriented, and a little anxious. Also in my dream the time was 4:30, which meant I had totally missed my therapy session with my psychologist (2pm every Monday). I was VERY relieved to see eventually that it really was morning, and not late in the afternoon. I'm signing off now to go see her, and I'm taking a copy of this post to discuss. I'll post later what the interpretations might be.


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