Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Sister sister

Well, folks, I am happy to report that my sister retained primary physical custody of her children, and was awarded enough child support to definitely make a difference in their quality of life when Sis becomes employed. They've settled into a little 3 bedroom duplex in a small-townish suburb of St. Louis, and there's a Metrolink (St. Louis' light rail system) just around the corner from them. I believe this area will offer them greater opportunities than they would have had where our Mother lives.

On the other hand, the started harassing her from basically a couple of days after the order was made (of course). Sister has so far faithfully notified the police of the harassment, and has been telling him that he "needs to learn the terms of the order forwards and backwards, because we're going exactly by the terms of the order." (Yay sis!!!) I still fear for their safety, but so far he doesn't know where they live. Her attorney instructed that her address not be released to him due to previous harassment from him. They meet at a neutral location to exchange the children, and sis is allowed to have a 3rd party make the transfer, which is a good thing. This keeps ex from being able to intimidate her in person. This week when the transfer is supposed to be made, there will be a police officer accompanying her or whoever due to the harassing phone calls. Also, a police officer can make sure, per the order, that he has his own child restraint seats for each of the 3 kids.

He was supposed to have had the kids this past weekend, but on Friday, he called our Mom to say he only wanted to get the girls on Friday night, and wanted to get the little boy on Saturday. They stood their ground and said no, either you get them all, or you get none. He opted for none. Then he called Saturday to ask if he could take the oldest daughter to a movie, and again was told no, we're going strictly by the order, which pissed him off (naturally).

I do believe there is reason to fear him, but there's nothing I can personally do about that. I feel satisfied in my heart that I've done all I can or should do so far. I believe the attorney has informed them (sis and Mom) clearly of all that they need to do to follow the terms of the order and to use various legal remedies to resolve problems that may arise with the ex.

Sis is attending AA and has found at least one church that she likes in the area, but said she's going to be visiting others. Though she seems to be attracted to the more fundamentalist-type congregations, I am only concerned that she find a community to be a part of with her children. I hope she will take her attorney's advice to return to school and complete her degree in speech pathology, or whatever she chooses. Her biggest hopes for a better future are sobriety and education.

Thank you all for your support, thoughts and prayers during what was a very difficult time, and what may blow up again. I really appreciate having such kind and thoughtful friends, in real life and in the blogosphere. :)


PS -- We didn't even get called to testify because the attorneys worked things out in advance! Oy!!


Capriquarian Girl said...

That is great, great news!

Smalltown RN said...

That is wonderful news!!! I sense through your writing that you are still a little leary, and fear that he might find a way to retaliate. I certainly hope that he doesn't. His behaviour certainly does not demonstrate a person of sound mind. I wonder what the children think of all of this. It is such a hard call. On one hand you want the children to be able to have a reltionship with both parents, but when one parent is acting so badly, what is really best for them. I would have thought based on his history that he should have had all of the visits supervised. There is no garauntee that he won't take off with the children anyways.

I pray for your sister and for the children, and hope that a brighter future for all is just around the corner.

Might I make a suggestion.....I don't know if he has the where with all to look on the internet or blogs....but I would keep information about your sisters locale to a minimum.

Take care.....cheers...