Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Catching up

Well, it's been interesting the last week or so. It's hard to know where to begin. One positive thing I can say is that we finally got some rain! Hallelujah!!! My plants are looking better, less stressed, and though it's still hot, it's not as hot as it was a week or so ago.

Saturday was the memorial service for my friend's son. RunawayImagination has a great deal of information about it posted already, so I'll just link you to that post if you'd like to read about it.

Of course the biggest event of the last week was our last minute trip with my youngest sister, kids, and mom to deal with her first court date in the custody dispute between her and her ex. The bottom line appears to be that she must move back to the state in which her divorce was granted, due to the agreement she signed stating she would not move my niece (she only had one child then) more than 25 miles away from a certain point. However, she will be asking for a change in that agreement. She's having, though, to respond to her ex's charges of taking the kids out of state and of being an unfit mother. She is alleging (truthfully) that he is actually the unfit one, so this will be figured out in the court system.

Monday I received a notice from sister's attorney that I am being called to testify in this case. I wish I didn't have to do that, but if it will help, I'm willing. Hubby is taking off work *again* to go with me, though I assured him I'd be OK. He doesn't trust sister's ex (neither do I) and wants us to all be safe, so he'll accompany us to court. Maybe ONE DAY we'll actually get to take his vacation for things WE want to do, instead of using the time for other people's benefit!

After court was over last week, the attorney wanted to see my sister to go over things about the strategy they intend to use to fight this. I knew someone needed to take notes, so I asked hubby to go with her. Fortunately, hubby is an excellent note-taker, and deals with attorneys day in and day out in his position as a consultant with the state. He and sis went to the attorney's office and waited two hours to see her, but then spent at least 2 hours with her, which was massively helpful. Tonight there is to be a call from the atty to my sister, and sister plans to 3-way call hubby so he can make notes again.

It's funny -- in January my mother told me she was "mad at" us for "telling them what to do", yet had they done what we said then, we wouldn't be dealing with this now. She has actually said that they are very appreciative of all that we've done and will be very happy to have our help again, if we're willing to give it. I guess they were living in their own little made-up reality that apparently did not include paying attention to the laws of the land. The ex-brother-in-law also doesn't seem to pay attention to the law, especially when it comes to restraining orders, so I have to admit I'm a little nervous about coming into contact with him so directly again. He certainly saw me accompany my sister to court, but when he hears me testify against him, that could stir things up.

This guy continues to phone my sister, and leave messages on my parents' answering machine. Yes, that's right -- knowing that we're going to court even he persists in trying to control my sister. The message he last left on my parents' machine? A song, played in its entirety: "I've Got A New Girlfriend". Juvenile? Yes, of course. Stupid? Absolutely. That's what makes him dangerous.


Smalltown RN said...

Greetings wrkinprogress......

This post really paqued my curiousity. You see my husbands ex did what your sister did. Take the children thousands of miles away 5500km to be exact. She was order twice to bring the children back, she didn't. He spent thousands upon thousands to try and get the children back. Yes he could have opted to have her arrested but he didn't. How would that be for his children, awful would be the answer. So he didn't have her brought back. Aa a matter of fact he let her stay. But guess what, he has the privilage of paying the airfare for the children to come out and visit. Almost $2,000.00 each visit. She also gets support on top of all of this. So what did he get. Absolutely nothing. Except for the heartache of not being able to tuck his boys into bed at night. An opportunity to read them stories or listen to their stories. His ex to claimed he was an unfit father. My goodness we just had the boys here for the past 6 weeks, I have never seen a father so attentive, loving and yet firm at the same time. Tell me were is the justice in what she did to him. His finances eventually ran out to fight the battle. The lawyers made a killing.
He as opted to blog his epxeriences and journalize via the blog his feelings, and his loss and hopefully some gains in the near future.

There are always two sides to every story. I am sure and by the sounds of your blog your sister's ex has some mental issues that need to be dealt with. Maybe it was best that she get out of the marriage and move....but to another state....every situation is a little different. If my husbands ex wanted out of the marriage fine....but to take the boys from the only environment they know, from a father they adore....those boys beg to be here...this is home to them...but the ex felt that it was best for her to move and take them with her.

It would be great if you would visit his site and read a males perspective on divorce and how it feels when the ex takes is children out of state or province.

By the way love your site.....
Thanks for letting me vent.

Smalltown RN said...

gosh I hated it when my fingers don't work...lol....sorry about the typo's....I mean't "peaked"

Cheers.....from sunny British Columbia

Cathy said...

wip, I'm happy your husband is taking the day off to go with you. Like Mary Anne said, your sister's ex sounds like he has mental issues to me.

Why would he call and leave these stupid messages on the phone? He is an idiot! You're right, he sounds dangerous to me. Don't ever be alone with him.

Genevieve said...

Even beyond stupid, it sounds like he has no self-control. He surely must realize it's not in his best interest to harrass, but for whatever reason, he chooses to do it anyway.