Thursday, August 17, 2006

It's Thursday, and I can't think of a title

There's so much going on these days that titles just escape me. There is no one theme for my life lately, other than not being in control of it. I'm betting there are plenty of folks out there who can relate to such a state of being.

Pardon the graphic nature of this next statement, but last night I woke up from a deep sleep with an upset stomach, and found myself in the bathroom throwing up into the garbage can while being perched on 'the throne', having similar expulsion issues on the other end. I have no idea why this happened, other than the ubiquitous descriptor "nerves". Not feeling sick today, but I do notice feeling a bit anxious, maybe a little hypersensitive to stimuli. I know this is because my cup runneth over at the moment, and should resolve once the situation with my sister's custody battle is resolved.

This week I need to send out some follow-up/thank you notes to the folks who attended our Marriage Equality Summit a couple of weekends ago. On the plus side of that, I've already seen a notice that one of the groups in attendance is holding a 'house party' for the folks, which tells me the event worked well. I doubt I can attend myself, but I'm so happy to know that our efforts actually pay off. :) Perhaps Tennessee will turn the tide against discrimination against our LGBT brothers and sisters.

Also, I hope to have a resolution to a problem that my prescription drug company is giving me about my medications. They are really trying my patience, and therefore adding additional stress, by not being clear about what is necessary to get two prescriptions filled. The bottom line is, they insist that, in order to cover the filling, the drugs must be written for generic rather than name brand (Neurontin, Effexor XR). They've said that the dosages given are not in compliance with their standards or whatever they call it. However, there doesn't seem to be a problem if they're what the real problem is is that they don't want to cover name brand items. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!! The doctor's office is being so very helpful and kind about this -- I hate wasting all of their time on this because it's not a direct benefit to them. They don't get paid for this -- the pharmacy does -- so they don't have to be as nice as they're being. Bless their hearts, seriously.

Next week I may testify against the man who terrified me in October. While I'm not necessarily afraid at this point, I do feel anxious. I believe him to be a very dangerous person, as he's demonstrated in the past. I wonder if having to deal with the consequences of his own behavior will send him off the deep end and prompt him to hurt my sister or the kids. Every day you read where some guy, even under a restraining order, hurts or even kills his family. I'm not so naive as to think that can't happen to my family, and I don't think I'm overreacting. These things do happen, and they happen to good people.

So, therein lies some of the turmoil I find myself experiencing. I'm trying to maintain my center by deep breathing, staying in the present moment, and relying on those who demonstrate that they care for me. Pouring out my feelings, as best I can, here is a help, but by and large, only the passage of time will do the trick.

Let me hereby wish for all of you that your lives are peaceful and joyful, or that at least your hearts are peaceful and joyful. Oh, and that the heat continues to be knocked down a little bit! :) It's been positively gorgeous here in Nashville lately.


Cathy said...

Well good Lord, you wonder you are waking up being sick.

I wish all this would just go away. I also know that sometimes these men go off the deep end and do terrible things. I hope your sister realizes that also and that she takes steps to try and protect herself and her children.

I hope as these things resolve that you can relax and begin feeling better..


I'am thinking of you!

RunAwayImagination said...

You know I'm with you all the way, baby.

We'll have an enjoyable road trip next Tuesday and an even more enjoyable one back home the next day.

Just remember - you are not alone.

Smalltown RN said...

Oh my goodness....your plate sounds very full. I have heard many stories about HMO's who dictate treatments and medications for people even when you u have the medicare insurance. That would frustrate me to no end. So far we are fortunate in Canada that our universal healthcare covers alot of treatments and medications....but private industry is trying it's hardest to whiddle it's way into our it is the government in British Columbia removed from our MSP things like Chiropractic, or physiotherapy or ambulance for example...if you have extended medical a percentage is covered but not all....that stinks....anyhow, that is a long story and I am sure you don't need to hear all about that.

I am so sorry to hear about all of your stressors....I hope things settle for you soon....keep up with the deep breathing and some simple yoga if you can.

Thank you for the lovely birthday wish....had a wonderful time with my girls...My youngest is staying on for the week....Yay!!!....just sucks that I am working nights tonight...but I will be with her tomorrow....

You take care and chat with u soon....cheers