Friday, June 02, 2006

Good trip

Our trip this past weekend was quite a success, all the way around. We covered a lot of territory -- almost 2000 miles, I believe. We also visited six states -- Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Kentucky. We stayed with hubby's son for the first time and had a marvelous experience. We also visited one of my cousins, his sister, and his ex-wife and her husband. There was even time for hooking up with some of his old band friends at one of their gigs, where we surprised them. Naturally, hubby was asked to sit in on a few songs, which is something he enjoyed tremendously. Clearly they were happy to see him and have him participate, and that really made my night.

One of the things I enjoyed most was getting to know hubby's son's fiancee better. We've only met twice, I believe, so we haven't had that much time just to hang out. She is a very beautiful, charming woman from Australia who sells stuff to gigantic organizations. She is very smart, funny, thoughtful, clever, and about every other positive attribute you can name. This kind of person would normally intimidate me, but she doesn't. She has a way of putting everyone at ease, which must be quite useful in her line of work. This weekend gave us the chance to just have girl talk, I think, and to enjoy seeing our men enjoy each other's company. We both enjoyed that aspect quite a bit, and spent more time together as a result. I am sincerely hoping that she and son will come to visit us sometime soon, and let us show them a good time. She's never been here before, so there would be a lot we could do. I also really look forward to future visits to their home, knowing in advance that I already feel comfortable there and like part of the family. That's a wonderful feeling, and quite a relief.

The visit with hubby's ex was interesting. This is the first time either of us has been to their home, though we pretty much always have seen her when we've visited up there -- she comes down to NORVA. This is the first time I've met her husband, though. Wasn't impressed with him, to be honest. No comparison between this guy and hubby -- other than he's younger. Definitely not of the same class as my husband -- no comparison in any way. I won't go into gory details, but will say that the ex had an affair with current hubby, which was the icing on the cake that was the end of the marriage. After, she and then-lover sponged off hubby, taking 'alimony' because hubby was more generous than he had to be ("she was the mother of my children") -- I do admire that about him, though.

I don't know how hubby can stand to be around her hubby, but somehow he doesn't hold a grudge. I don't think it's in his nature. He knows that her current hubby was definitely not her first affair -- the first was way back in the beginning of their marriage, and continued throughout their relationship. To meet his ex, you'd never imagine this about her, but he said that was the thing -- on the one hand she appears very normal, average, etc., but she has a "dark" side that's attracted to dangerous men and doing very edgy things. Some of the stories I've heard just blow my mind, but it's hard to walk in another person's shoes. I just don't get it, though.

His ex did give me a beautiful sterling silver fish with an articulating tail necklace she bought while she and now-hubby were on vacation at the Outer Banks. She gave a similar necklace to son's fiancee. For my hubby and his son she brought salsa. She's very kind and thoughtful this way, actually. For our wedding, she gave us a beautiful bowl for our coffee table, which was very surprising to me. I really appreciated her kindness -- it certainly made things easier for me to meet her for the first time -- on our honeymoon, actually.

This must all sound weird to the average reader. To tell the truth, it feels weird to me, too. I have a different relationship with my husband and his family members, I think, than most people. But then, our relationship is kind of different from most. I doubt many people reading this have a 17 year age difference between themselves and their spouses. I doubt many people reading this are divorced and widowed also. I think that makes a difference.

Speaking of having been widowed, hubby's late wife's father is very ill. He's 91 and until recently has been in pretty good shape. We attended his birthday party in December. He did say then, though, that he was kind of tired of living, which surprised everyone. As of now he's in a nursing home after having recovered from pneumonia. However, he's lost a great deal of weight and is not eating. He's also anemic, but no source of bleeding has been found so far. Prior to the pneumonia, he and his wife, age 85, I believe, were living in an assisted living facility, after having only given up their home in the last year. He was very stubborn about it, and though they really needed help a while back, he refused help. Money was his primary concern, as it is now, too. But, unfortunately, there appears to be a possibility that he may be in bad enough shape that money may not be an issue. Our concern is his wife, who is quite dependent on him. After all, they have been married 62 years as of the 17th of this month. I suppose we will be making a trip up to see them soon -- maybe even this weekend. I hope not, for many reasons, but we're prepared to go whenever necessary. If nothing else happens, we'll go for the 4th of July holiday. We're keeping our fingers crossed until then.

This weekend we will be spending our time at home, dealing with all of this lightning-strike business. I guess it's kind of good, though, because at least that will keep us at home. We could use a little rest anyway.

That's the news from Lake Woebegone. It's good to be home. :)



Capriquarian Girl said...

I'm so glad your trip was so great!

girl MD said...

sounds like a potentially strange and awkward situation with your husband's ex, but sounds like you handled it well. i'm impressed that all the adults in your family can behave so maturely...i see a lot of broken families who harbor so much anger and resentment that they can't get out of their own way, even for the sake of their children.

Cathy said...

OK, you are really a good person. It is refreshing to read about someone who can put all these emotional feelings aside and maintain a realtionship. I'm not sure I could handle it near as well as you do. Thanks for this interesting story.