Monday, July 10, 2006

Loss

Our friend, Melissa Sigler, lost her only son yesterday. His name was Bruce and he was 27 years old. He appears to have died of a sudden heart attack, with no foul play involved. Melissa said that, looking back, he complained of heartburn, some fluid retention, and possibly chest pain, but who would imagine that a 27 year old would have a heart attack?

I am honored to have been asked to come sit with her this week. Melissa is a private person, though her gregarious nature belies that. She is one of the most modest people I know, when it comes right down to it.

She and her partner have been here in Nashville for about the same length of time I have been -- about 2 1/2 years. They have no family here, other than Melissa's mother, who lives with them. Her mom is in the throes of Alzheimer's Disease, and Melissa has not been able to make that decision that would move her mother to a full-time care facility. She still believes it's reasonable to care for her at home, and that is entirely her decision to make at this point.

I don't know what I'm going to say or do Thursday when I spend time with her. She's such a strong person, and I know her tears are going to bring my own with them. I plan to cook some red beans & rice with smoked sausage for her -- being from Lake Charles, LA, this is one of her favorite dishes. I also have some chicken & dumplins in the freezer, and I will take them too. I bet I can get RunawayImagination to make some of his famous bread for her. In my family, if you don't know what else to do for someone, feed 'em. So, I am carrying on a probably centuries-old tradition.

For those of you that are the praying types out there, if you could say a prayer for my friend's peace, I would be grateful. I myself am going to be praying for the right words to say to a grieving mother.

3 comments:

Capriquarian Girl said...

I am so sad to hear this devastating news. I will definitely keep sweet Melissa and her family in my thoughts and prayers. I'm glad you are going to be with her and I have every confidence that you will find the right words.

Genevieve said...

It really touched my heart when I read about this tragedy on Runaway's blog. I can imagine that the shock and heartache must be almost overwhelming for the mother.

Don't worry overly much about exactly what you're going to say and don't worry if you cry. The important thing is that you are there.

But more than anything, it will take time for her heart to mend. The grief really can't be avoided. It's life, and sometimes it's a vale of tears.

Having come some dark years with many deaths of family and friends, I can say that Psalm 23 has truly been a great comfort to me.

Cathy said...

I can say no more than to ditto everything the other two have already said. You are so kind that she will be happy you are there regardless of what you say or don't say.