Friday musings

Did I mention I have a 'pseudo flu'? Well, it appears to be turning or turned into a sinus infection and possibly a little bronchitis. Booooo! Called the doc this morning and left a detailed message, complete with descriptions of what is coming out of my head through my nose and lungs, and they reviewed my visit Monday, and called in some Augmentin for me. I am so grateful not to have to go back in after just seeing them this Monday. However, if this doesn't improve pretty quickly, I believe I'll be on my way to an ENT. I have had lifelong sinusitis, both acute and chronic, and only in the last few years was able to see an ENT for these issues. The first thing they found, through a CT of my sinuses, was that the turbinates on my right side were very tiny, and therefore I was not able to ever really drain properly. There was also a protrusion of some bone into my sinus cavity, which also interfered, and I was developing bone thickening due to the chronic infection. My wonderful doc performed Functional Endoscopic Sinus Surgery (FESS) to open up the turbinates, remove the protrusion, and basically clean me out. I have to say that it seems to have helped a great deal (I've gone almost a year or more without ANY kind of sinus infection, which is a RECORD for me).

I think the chronicity of these sinus problems is an expression of my depression somehow. I used to get very discouraged about going to the doctor for a sinus problem. I seemed to never get completely well after whatever treatment my doctors prescribed, and I grew weary of returning to their office still complaining. I felt like I was being 'a baby' somehow, just whining. I think somehow I felt *I* had failed. Now, though, that I have had some relief, and therefore believe it's possible, I will not wait any longer than I absolutely have to to see a specialist and get this under control. I deserve to be well, and I do not make up illnesses.

I was supposed to be interviewed on the radio tomorrow for the Marriage Equality initiative here in Tennessee. Let me be clear -- I am definitely PRO Marriage Equality, meaning that I believe that civil unions like marriage should be a civil RIGHT for all. Let me also remind my reader that I am a straight, married woman, though I have had a sexual relationship with one woman in my life. I never really thought about having a relationship with a woman before -- it just 'happened'. Much to my surprise and delight, this relationship was more than sexual -- in fact, that was the least of it, so to speak. Her kindness and friendship and understanding, not to mention her compassion and caring, was exactly what I needed at a very stressful and sad time in my life. I'm so grateful to have not missed this experience. It definitely showed to me that love is love, period, regardless of the gender of the person who loves or is loved. And for her, and for all of my many LGBT friends, known and unknown, I feel I have an obligation to stand up and speak out. I know it won't be easy, and some people will really vilify me, but hey, I always did want to be a radical hippie -- I was just born to late to do it! :)

Peace to anyone reading this blog. I hope it either helps you somehow, entertains you, or provokes some new, different thoughts for you.

WIP