Friday, September 15, 2006

Needing input

I have a big job to do in October. I have to scatter the ashes of my late husband. I am a little freaked out about this, which surprises me a little. I thought I was a little tougher than I am, apparently.

Yesterday I met with my minister, who was very helpful. As a minister, and especially as a Unitarian minister, she's had many experiences involving the scattering of ashes, and is truly one of the most loving people on the planet. She spoke with me, and cried with me, all very gently, and offered good suggestions for some readings I might consider, as well as music and other things that might make this occasion more spiritual and memorable.

Though Lance was very specific in his request to scatter his ashes at the headwaters of the Mississippi River, which is in Bemidji, MN, that was his only request. He didn't care how or when I did it, he just wanted it to be done eventually. So, that puts the details squarely in my court.

Lance was an amazing man who loved poetry and music. He wrote volumes of poems, which I hope to publish in his memory one day. He loved, listened to, and created music -- he knew more about musicians, too, than anyone I've ever known. Some of his favorites were Joni Mitchell, Bob Dylan, George Clinton & Parliament Funkadelic, Leon Russell, Chick Corea, Jaco Pastorius, and a host of others. His favorite poet was Richard Brautifan, whose works I plan to browse through to see if I can find a particular poem that might be suited for this occasion.

So, with all that said, I'd like to ask -- do any of you have any input into what I can do to mark this event memorably? I'm up for anything you might offer, and I sincerely want this information. Naturally I'll be thinking of things myself, but I think that the more folks I have contributing to this effort, the better.

7 comments:

Cathy said...

I wish I had some input for you but i have never done that before so I don't know what one does.

I just wanted to let you know I had read this and I wish I could give you a hug..You still comning to Ohio in Dec.?...God, I hope you are!

Genevieve said...

Will you need any legal papers or permits? Will there be just a few people or several? Maybe you can read some of his own poetry and an appropriate Scripture and end with a prayer thanking God for his life and the joy of knowing him. I think you are wise to plan a little ceremony.

neuroticillinifan said...

When my SIL's ashes were scattered at sea (believe it or not we found a company that specialized in taking people out on a boat specifically for this purpose) one of the things I found particularly touching was that along with scattering the ashes, a floral wreath was tossed into the ocean. As we headed back to shore we kept an eye on it until it faded from view. I can imagine you placing a floral wreath in the river and watching it float away. Just an idea you may wish to consider. . . . . . . .

Tater said...

Be careful with putting anything in the ocean that an animal could eventually get caught on, obviously lol - maybe a cally lily or two could be present? ;)I don't think there is any right or wrong answer - you just do what feels right to you. I like the idea of you reading some of his own poetry or poetry that he particularly liked.

Smalltown RN said...

You know I have been thinking about you, as I haven't visited your sight in awhile.

I lost my mom a year ago and she to wanted her ashes spread over the water.

Close family and friends rented a boat, had dinner on the boat. A close minister friend of the family came and said just a few words, and then we all took it from there...said a little thing about our mom and each of us tossed a few of her ashes in the water. The spot we chose was a spot we used to go to when we used to boat. My loved being on the water and boating....It just seemed fitting for us.

I know they say you are not suppose to throw ashes overboard....but well.....

Do what feels right in your heart.

I have linked you to my blog.

Yara said...

Hey,

I have never had to take care of ashes, but you mught want to ply some of the music he did and like Genevieve said read a poem or two of his. I hope everything went wonderfully if you already did it. Best of luck!

-Yara

Smalltown RN said...

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you.

Hope you are ok.

Cheers....