Monday, October 23, 2006

On the road again...

Hubby and I flew back to Nashville last night around 7:30pm. We were gone for 10 days, traveling about 1400 miles by rental car around Minnesota and Wisconsin, combining several missions -- spreading ashes, attending a class, and a mini-vacation.

Tomorrow we leave for central Indiana, this time to attend a funeral. His late wife's father, age 90, passed away Friday night, due to complications (pneumonia) after a fall that fractured a vertebra in his back and produced a brain injury due to a whiplash-type effect. (I think that's called a "coup/contra coup" injury, but I doubt I'm spelling that right.)

Hubby has been asked to be a pallbearer, and to play the piano at the service -- not the stuff from the hymnals, but something original. He will gladly perform both functions. In his former father-in-law's obituary, my hubby is listed as one of those surviving him, which, of course, is a designation reserved for family. Needless to say, he was touched and honored by this inclusion.

Background: when we first became engaged, and then married, his late wife's sister and niece most definitely did not approve -- they thought it was "too soon". They said some pretty ugly things about me, and about us, and I never thought they'd come around. I'm very happy to report, though, that I was wrong. :) I offered by phone the other day to keep the niece's 4 year old daughter for her while the funeral activities were going on, because I figured someone had to do it and it might be a way to "make points". Today the niece called me herself to ask if I didn't want to join the family for all the stuff?? She thought I should be with them, and if I wanted to keep her daughter busy for a while at the visitation, that was cool, but she didn't want me to miss out. Talk about a lovely surprise!!! I'm so happy to have, I guess, earned my place with them. They realize now that hubby is not abandoning them, not by a long shot. He will continue to be the same loving son-in-law he's always been -- phoning weekly, visiting as often as possible, etc. This is a lovely, precious turn of events.

We plan to return home on Thursday, and I hope we'll have at least a few days' peace. I also hope neither of us have need to turn around and do another road trip right away, as much as we both love those. You know you're getting older when you value your sleep more than you value the next adventure. ;)

Peace to all y'all. Be good to each other, and please remember -- life is short. There are no do-overs at the end. Say what you need to say now, and be kind. You'll never regret that.



Yara said...


Very wise words you wrote at the end of your post. Most definetely words to live by. I'm sorry about the funeral, it always so hard to attened but I'm glad your hubby's extended family has decided to let you join them, it makes everything so much easier.

Good Luck,


cathy said...

Oh honey, they just needed some time to get to know you. Once that happened they realized how blessed they were to now have you as part of their extended family. You are a breathe of fresh air and a model for how all this should be handled. Many people should follow in your footsteps..

I hope you do get some down time to just rest after this is all over..



RunAwayImagination said...

There seems a perfect symmetry in the fact that you spread Lance's ashes (on Friday the 13th of all days!), which was exactly seven days after your own birthday, and then on the 21st, exactly seven days later, my father-in-law passes.

Seeming coincidences like this make me think that there is a framework to the universe. And we can tell when we're on the right track. We just know.

I know my right track is with you.